Secret Rendezvous
by My Dictator Level is Over 9000
Summary: His cover was blown, his nemesis was standing in his kitchen, his family was asleep upstairs, and Doof was as casual as ever! Perryshmirtz. Slash. Rated M.


**Authors Note: Slash, slash, slash…I love the slash! I'm actually behind on posting all the Rated M one-shots the two of us made, so expect some more very soon since they are already done! On either my profile or his! Keep your eyes peeled! **

**Pairing: Perryshmirtz.**

**Rated M, Slash. **

**Created by Meoata & NattyMc.**

* * *

Perry rolled over in his sleep, sighing contently. There was nothing better than sleep. He didn't care what anybody said. He snuggled up to Phineas. Seriously, things couldn't get any better. He loved spending time with his owners. He counted sleeping as a bonding activity because he was never home during the day, he always had missions then. He'd miss their projects and he hated it. He hated that they didn't know who or WHAT he really was and was capable of. To them he was just a mindless pet, nothing more.

It was a large price to pay but SOMEONE had to protect the Tri State Area from tyranny, and that someone just happened to be him...everyday...

With a weary sigh he glanced at the clock. 12:00 again. He got up, switching to Ferb's bed. He did this every night to spend equal time with them.

Just as he was about to lie down, he heard a crash like glass shattering from downstairs. The platypus looked at both boys, the noise hadn't awoken them. Worry grew inside of him and he hopped off the bed, slipping out the narrow gap in the door that was just big enough for him to fit out of in pet mode.

Perry walked past Lawrence and Linda's room, peeking in and seeing that they were also still asleep. The noise hadn't woken them up either. Upon further inspection he listened by Candace's door, he could hear her soft snoring. She was still asleep as well.

How did that loud crash not faze anyone but him? Maybe he imagined it...

Another crash and hoarse mumbling made him jump and all but run down the stairs. Did someone break in? If someone had then what could he do? Should he attempt to wake someone up? What if this person was armed? He'd be able to handle a dangerous criminal better than his family could. He wouldn't want to put them in danger by waking them.

Should he just let them take what they want and leave? They'd notice things missing in the morning and the criminal would be long gone. His humans would be safe and the police would handle it.

But he couldn't just sit back and do nothing! This was HIS house! (Metaphorically speaking, that is. He didn't pay the mortgage…) He had to defend his house and his people. Determination glowed in his now uncrossed eyes as he began his search.

Perry ran down the stairs and saw a figure in the kitchen. Perry glared at them before putting the fedora on. He will show that criminal not to mess with a house that has an O.W.C.A agent inside. He turned on the light, seeing that the figure that made the noise was Doofenshmirtz, who stared at the platypus with wide eyes.

"Oh, hello Perry the Platypus"

Doofenshmirtz?! What was he doing here?! Why was he in his house?! Under the same roof as his family?! How many rules did this break in the OWCA handbook? How much trouble would the man be in once Major Monogram was notified? Should he even notify his superior or deal with this himself? Where would he even start?

His cover was blown, his nemesis was standing in his kitchen, his family was asleep upstairs, and Doof was as casual as ever! Did he know how much trouble they were in?!

"Nice kitchen," he said, "I suppose you're wondering why I'm here. And how I know where you live." Perry nodded. "I followed you here, and I was wondering where you lived and I wanted to meet your family." Perry looked at him with wide eyes. There was no way that was going to happen. Doofenshmirtz giggled. "Just kidding, I came here because I've been thinking about you since today's evil scheme and I wanted to give you this." Doofenshmirtz gave Perry a big kiss, receiving a wide eyed look from Perry as their mouths locked together.

Perry thought Doofenshmirtz was crazy. He's kissing him in his own family's home. What if anyone woke up and saw this? He pushed Doof away, there was a place and time for that and that was not at his home.

"Oh come on, It'll only be like five minutes." Doofenshmirtz said planting kisses all over him.

"Maybe I can even break my record..."

The platypus had no doubts that the man would break his record. (Seriously, he was that good) But if anyone saw this- ANYONE -they were both dead. Perry tried pulling away from him, to push him away but the doctor held him firm.

"Oh stop it! A small quickie isn't going to hurt anyone! Aaaaand..." Doof nuzzled his face "I know for a fact you'll enjoy it." His voice got seductive "Pluuuuus, I'm already here...and I won't leave without a fight. We don't want to wake up that family of yours, now do we?"

Perry couldn't believe it. The man was blackmailing him into doing what he wanted. If they weren't already in a relationship he'd be worried that his enemy had this type of power over him. He had no choice but to not kick him out. Not just because of the threat of waking his family, it was also that the man's touches and kisses made him want to continue. Doofenshmirtz turned off the light, stripping himself from his clothes as he kisses the platypus agent on the floor. He was getting aroused at the touches and his nemesis' kisses from his head to his groin before his member was engulfed in Doofenshmirtz. He moaned softly at the warm, wet feeling on a sensitive part of his body, feeling Doofenshmirtz suck and move his tongue around the organ.

He had to bite back loud moans and screams. Now it was HE who would wake his family if he couldn't keep himself quiet. Damnit! Why'd the man have to be so good at this?!

"You're so cute when you're vulnerable." He braked for a moment to say and went right back to what he was doing.

Perry moaned more and more, trying to control himself as the tongue did many things to his body, making him moan louder and louder. The lights turned on. Doofenshmirtz looked up, with his mouth still on Perry, to see two boys, one with red hair and one with green hair, looking at the naked man in their kitchen with his mouth on their cock-eyed mindless pet who, for some reason, was wearing a fedora.

The man looked up, stopping what he was doing, staring back at the two equally shocked children. "Well, shit..."

Perry would have smacked him if he wasn't supposed to be mindless.

"Mom!" The red haired kid yelled, "There's a naked man doing weird things to Perry with a fedora in the kitchen!"

"You're just dreaming, hun!" Their mother called down from her bedroom. "Go back to bed!"

The two boys, Phineas and Ferb, looked at the two for a while.

"You know, Ferb?" Phineas asked. "That actually makes sense. Perry doesn't wear a fedora." Ferb nodded before the two turned off the kitchen lights, walking back upstairs. The moment Perry heard the door close, he glared at his nemesis and decided that it was time for him to le-

The platypus moaned mid thought, feeling Doofenshmirtz bob his head up and down on Perry and using his tongue's magic.

He grabbed hold of the back of the scientist head, small fingers intertwining in the cocoa brown locks as his nemesis mouth went faster. He could feel himself getting closer. The thought of finishing inside Doof's mouth, committing great sin inside his own home, was very arousing to him. He bit his bill to prevent himself from crying in ecstasy as he came in the doctor's mouth. He swallowed it with ease. When he finished, he grabbed on to Doof's hair tightly as he could feel his muscles relax in the afterglow.

After a few pants, Perry released the hair, letting Doofenshmirtz release his now limp member from his mouth. Doofenshmirtz put the tip of his in front of Perry's face, silently asking him to do the same thing he did to him.

Doof smirked "Now that you're done... I was thinkiiiiing...maaaaybe it would be...my turn?"

Perry stamped his foot, outraged. _'You break into my host family's house, blackmail me into letting you do what you want to me, make me moan so loud that my owners SAW us and now you want me to...? You're out of your mind!'_

Doofenshmirtz said two words that changed the mammals attitude altogether, smirking as he said if. "I'll scream."

The platypus eyes went wide. He wouldn't...

"We wouldn't want anyone hearing that, now would we? We wouldn't want anyone ELSE waking up or coming downstairs. Your family may be complete idiots but I don't think the whole 'this is a dream' thing would work a second time. Or maybe they're stupider than I thought and they WOULD fall for it a second time. We could find out if you want..."

Perry knew the man had him right where he wanted him. With a well-aimed glare he opened his mouth.

"Good boy" Doofenshmirtz told him, kneeling forward.

The animal growled around him, telling him not to push it.

The vibrating growl felt good on him "Keep growling...and don't bite me!" The man warned.

Perry had seventy five percent a mind to bite him, but that would cause him to scream. He REALLY didn't want his family running down to see this. Not only would his cover be blown but it'd be REALLY, REALLY awkward to say goodbye. Phineas would probably ask him- in front of his boss and everyone - "What were you doing with that skinny guy on the floor?"

The agent brought his finger to his lips the best way he could with this thing in his mouth.

Doofenshmirtz nodded, getting the message. He'd be quiet.

Perry stopped the growling just to spite his nemesis and secret lover, yet he made sure the man had the time of his life so he would finish quickly and leave. His tongue caressed the large organ, tasting the man's skin and the ever leaking pre from the man's member.

Doofenshmirtz bit his lip as the tongue and beak tickled him. He was afraid that if he made a sound, Perry would stop and kick him out of his house. He wouldn't blame him, but he'd also leave unsatisfied.

It didn't take long for Doofenshmirtz to feel his orgasm rise inside his loins. He whispered to the platypus, softly, "Perry the Platypus. I-I'm gonna come."

That's all he needed to hear. Perry sped up his bill and tongue movement, hearing Doofenshmirtz breathing rise like his upcoming end, thrusting softly into Perry's bill.

Doof finally finished, feeling an electrical surge of pleasure going through his body as he fired into Perry's mouth. The animal swallowed the liquid with ease, cleaning off Doofenshmirtz as his climax starts to subside. The platypus angrily pointed to the door and the scientist scoffed, having recovered from their activities and got redressed.

"What, is this like a one night stand?"

Perry stamped his foot, pointing to the exit. They had their fun and now it was time for the man to leave. He's caused enough trouble as it is!

"Alright, alright...I supposed I caused enough trouble as it is..." he landed a kiss on his small secret lover's bill, caressing his cheek and purring "I'll see you tomorrow...pet..."

The animal nodded, turning to go back upstairs-

"Let's have another quickie in the panic room. Its sound proof right?"

Perry growled at him. _'Leave! I don't even know how you know that we even HAVE a panic room!'_

Doofenshmirtz took out a set of blueprints from his pockets with a large grin. Perry looked at him in shock, recognizing them instantly.

"If you were wondering about how I knew about your place, I found a private internet blog about a rabbit that could do anything for the right price. Kinda like those secret sites hitmen use to do online business. I asked for the blueprints for your house, note, I didn't know how I could get in without waking anyone so I asked for the blueprints of 'the home of Perry the Platypus.' It was weird. He only wanted carrots."

Again his nemesis pointed to the door, a clear sign that they'd discuss this the next time they saw each other was visible on his face.

"Okay! I'm leaving! Sheeeesh. See you tomorrow Perry the Platypus..."

Perry watched Doofenshmirtz walk out the door and into the dark night. A crisp breeze flew in before the door closed. The agent stared on for a moment, cracking a smile and losing his serious look completely. He loved the idiot...he really did, but if he ever broke into his house again-

"I knew you loved me."

With a scowl the animal threw a nearby oven mit at the door, missing the doctor's head as the man ran out.

The platypus stayed downstairs a little longer to make sure his nemesis wouldn't make any more surprise appearances. Although this encounter had been quite...interesting. He would never admit how Doofenshmirtz was right. Being taken in your own home while you know good and well that your loved ones are upstairs and even the slightest noise- a moan for instance -could have them all running down the stairs...had made it more dangerous and even more arousing.

He went into pet mode, climbing up the stairs and all the way into the boys' room. Perry curled up at the foot of the bed, sighing and lowering his head to the comfortable fabric underneath. He'd be able to get at least half of a decent good night sleep tonight...

The silence thickened on until it was shattered by a fully awake Phineas and a snickering Ferb.

"The next time Dr. D breaks into our house, you two should go to the panic room. I hear its sound proof."


End file.
